At preschool this week:
Riley (to random boy): Will you be my friend?
Random boy: Yes!
Riley (to me): See mummy, I have a bestest, best friend!
I died a little inside from the cuteness. But me and the random boy’s mother sighed a little at the ease of it. At how simple it was. And they were already off on a grand adventure through the playground obstacle course.
Bloggers feel excluded or marginalised all the time.
They feel excluded if their niche isn’t as well represented at events as another niche. They feel excluded if they are a maligned niche, or taken less seriously than another niche. They feel excluded if they are not part of the inner circle of the more popular bloggers. They feel excluded if they aren’t invited to as many events, or if someone is getting the attention that they aren’t. There are so many reasons to feel left out, all the time. And I’m not immune from any of that.
I have a complicated relationship with the term ‘mummy blogger’ because sometimes it feels like an insult. I sometimes feel left out. I sometimes feel that I’m considered less serious or less important than another kind of blogger. And sometimes I find that a connection I might feel with someone or their writing isn’t reciprocated. And it’s human to feel hurt by that. And it’s the nature of the beast.
Blogging is about making connections. And sometimes people will feel more of a connection to a person than that person feels for them. They will appreciate the compliment that the person pays them, but that is it. Sometimes connections are completely reciprocated and sometimes they just aren’t. And when people say there is no in crowd in blogging it is usually because they can’t see it because they are inside it. At the same time it’s not intentional and it’s not mean spirited. It’s just human nature. And it’s not meant to be exclusionary.
The most amazing thing about the blogging community is those people with the biggest following are by far the most generous, because they appreciate their community. It’s not an us vs them. It just is. The flip side of that is that too often I think people feel ashamed of their success or awkward about it is really a point of pride and achievement.
It’s necessary. In order to form close relationships, some people have to be excluded from that. And it says nothing about the people who are being excluded and everything about the people who are included.
At no time in my life have I been cool or popular. And I am extremely comfortable with that. But I am looking forward to seeing some of my bestest best friends at the Digital Parents Conference. I think last year my goal at the end was to feel like I was part of the blogging community. This year? My goal is to not hold back for fear of exclusion or let my neurotic insecurities take over. I’m not very good at translating friendships into IRL. My goal is to push through all of that crap and see what happens.
My beautiful, expressive, vibrant, gregarious, diva of a daughter shows me how easy it can be.
My name is Zoey. 
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