The Unattainable Balance

I agree that being a mother who did not have to get an additional job outside for money would be heavenly. Feminism did not start this situation – ya know. WAR was the main reason and then lifestyle changes that included individual unit (single families) wanting their own of everything. Own house – out the window went living with extended families, own transportation, own boat, own cabin, you know the list goes on. Now we think the only lifestyle is that of having to have enough money to at least live in our own individual family units and the for most that means the grannies or aunts, etc., don’t live with us. There is good and bad to it all, of course. AND women still carry more roles typically and more tasks in a day. Feminism sought to deal with that. I have met Gloria Steinem in person and she was like the archetypal MOTHER – very loving – very spiritual. Early feminist were about questioning the status quo. They were about women getting equal pay. Women getting good work environments, etc. It is hard to understand the plight of women even in my mother’s generation – those born between 1925 and 1950. College for the average gal was thought of as not so important. And you just had to do what was dictated for you to do. Domestic violence. I don’t think the term existed then though it was happening. Incest – don’t think that wasn’t happening. My mother was raped by her grandfather in the 40′s. That was the way it was and she was not alone, I am sure. I wonder when prosecuting perpetrators of incest became widespread? Remember there are so many absolutely amazing things we take for granted that protect women now because of the work of early feminist. Feminism is not about being radical. It is about women having the right for things like family planning, owning their own bodies, etc. It is not about having too much to do and not about making choices that are hard or easy. Life has always been hard. Read pioneer women’s diaries for contrast to ours. Your life’s hardships have lots to do with what class you were born into, what country and what you can attain as does mine. We are the working class.

Many generations ago we were more tribal and performed many of their chores in a community fashion. People did not have all of the individual replication of daily living. I think I would really like commune living – if I were nice and people in general didn’t bug the crap out of me at times because I am supremely irritable. I don’t have lots of material possessions – yet too many to keep tidy. BUT I can do what I want within reason and in the privacy of my home.

I am the mother of the one perfect girl in my life. Sometimes, as a mother, she was one too many for me! I could be that crabby. I worked full time most of her life and I am sorry I had to. She, on the other hand, never says that. Maybe when I talk to her on the phone today I will as her more about that and report back to you. She is pretty funny. She is 19. Going on 26 in many ways. Oddly enough though she is very family oriented and has never had a real boyfriend until now. What she likes best about him – he is family oriented.

Is this a long enough comment – sorry. I am more likely to do one obnoxiously long comment infrequently. Take care!