The Toddler and the Age of No

We have arrived. The age of ‘no’ is upon us. I knew it was only a matter of time. Riley is far too persistent and too stubborn for it to pass us by, no matter how easy going she is.

I won’t lie. It’s not particularly pleasant. There is defiance, there is even hitting. And there is just plain melt downs aplenty for no good reason. Example: losing the plot because her dad was helping her with play-doh. Apparently him using the rolling pin was an assault on her empire. It resulted in crying. And not just any kind of crying, totally devastated crying that lasted long after the rolling pin had been returned.

This is where my gentle discipline ideals will be really tested. Because when she’s running around in the morning, refusing to get dressed, for the five-millionth time that week, there is a part of me that feels like yelling

For the love of God, and all that is holy – JUST STAY STILL

But I don’t of course. I make a game of it. Just like I do when she refuses to let me dry her with a towel. Sometimes it’s a race. Sometimes she’s being captured in a towel tunnel. And sometimes it is fun, even for me. The rest of the time I do my best to fake it. And sometimes I have a chuckle when the mother of a newborn talks about how much easier it will be once their baby can crawl/walk/talk/feed themselves. Because in some ways it is, but in other ways . . . Well, let’s just say you’re never going to find a newborn clambering up onto the kitchen bench to dive into the butter.

Because I believe that her stubbornness, her persistence, her defiance is healthy and good. I don’t want to raise a lemming. I want her to think for herself, decide what values she will hold dear and what she will cast aside. And I believe that it starts now, not at some indeterminate time in the future.
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Tagged as: behaviour, parenting, toddler