The Backslide

by Zoey @ Good Googs on February 2, 2010

When Riley was about 14 months old she started reliably sleeping through the night and no needing my presence to get to sleep. Up until that point she was up three or more times a night and at nap time I would need to rock or stroke her to sleep.

Perhaps it was because I was no longer breastfeeding her, so there was less interest in night-time snacking, or perhaps it was that she had always hated the cot and I’d moved her to her toddler bed. Either way, I didn’t care. It was such a relief to have a break. It wasn’t just the sleep deprivation, it was the emotional pressure of being completely responsible for whether or not she slept.

Since her recent bout of teething and illness there’s been a bit of a sleep regression. More often than not I sit in her room so she can get to sleep. I talk to her really softly and slowly or massage her scalp or stroke her cheeks until she drifts off and I sneak out of the room. And more often than not she’ll wake up in the middle of the night and come into our bed.

It would be easy to become frustrated with this. Despite the fact that I think I would have really missed out if I hadn’t parented her to sleep all this time. And despite the fact that I enjoy the co-sleeping – even when I get kicked and punched occasionally.Which is why this article really struck a chord with me. It was a reminder that sometimes I can’t sleep and I stay up and watch TV, or I ask Josh to give me a massage, or I read a book, or I have something to eat. And sometimes I just can’t relax.The only difference is I’m capable of meeting my needs, vocalising them and in general helping myself. I don’t have someone telling me to get into bed when I can’t sleep. Or making sure I stay there.

It’s not always easy when all I want is some undisturbed sleep. But the next time I’m bored, frustrated or exhausted I will hold on to all of the things that make it just lovely. Like pudgy little arms wrapping around my neck in the middle of the night; or heavy eyes closing slowly to my touch, or chubby cheeks resting against my own for comfort.

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Tagged as: attachment parenting, breastfeeding, cio, controlled crying, cosleeping, cry it out, illness, parented to sleep, sleep, teething

  • http://www.digitalwoe.com Lynda

    Elias was much the same way. Around 14 months he started being able to babble himself to sleep and no longer needed my rocking and cuddles every night. This changed sometimes if he was teething or sick, but for the most part, he rarely needed to be parented to sleep.

    Then Noah came along, then we took his pacifier away at night and since then he’s needed more parenting to sleep. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until he reminded me. So definitely try to cherish and not become frustrated when Riley needs you to help her go to sleep. This will not last very much longer and we’re really lucky to have these precious moments to spend with our children!
    .-= Lynda´s last blog ..Through my Eyes =-.

  • http://www.unlikelymama.com Amber

    I just love you! I really needed to read this today. I have a post brewing about how Attachment Parenting seems to have worked wonders for our baby’s (daytime) temperament, but I really needed a reminder about our nights. The the post you linked to renewed my belief that sleep training just isn’t right. In my gut I’ve always known…and that’s why I always give in. In my gut, it didn’t feel natural. My baby needs me, not forever, but for now :-)
    .-= Amber´s last blog ..30 Days =-.

  • Pingback: Teething – The Final Frontier — Good Goog

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