Supermarket Meltdown

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We had our first full-blown supermarket meltdown today.

You wouldn’t think it to look at her. She looks all zen and serene and peaceful here. Like she could give Ghandi a run for his money.

She’s always been a pretty good shopper. She’s usually so excited to be out and about that it’s rare for her to have a tantrum or lose the plot when we’re out. That sort of thing is usually a special treat for her mama when we are home alone.

Lately, the supermarket has become somewhat more challenging. Her father Someone let her ride in the actual trolley instead of sitting in the seat. She’s now obsessed with that and will throw a royal wobbly if you attempt to put her in the seat. I have two options in this situation. If I have unlimited time, I will sit with her until she’s calm enough to hop in the seat or if I don’t have time, I’ll let her ride in the damn trolley – I mean what’s the harm, really? As you can see, my consistency as a parent is off to an awesome start.

Predictably, she wanted to ride in the trolley today. I didn’t have that much shopping to do, so I popped her in there and tried to convince her that she needed to hold on, rather than pretending to be an airplane.

My first mistake was pausing for a bit too long at the end of the aisle. She saw some chocolate easter bunnies on sale. My second mistake was to put a couple of the aforementioned easter bunnies in the trolley because ‘they were a bargain’. As soon as she was in grabby distance of the bunnies it was on. Full blown tantrum in the middle of the supermarket. I had to carry her on my hip for most of it whilst pushing a shopping trolley that hasn’t had a wheel alignment since 1976. For a period of time I was able to distract her by getting her to push the trolley for me. But always the alluring foil of the bunnies would catch her eye and it would start again.

By the time we got to the checkout, I had her sitting down in the main part of the trolley playing with my wallet and a good portion of the change slipping out on to the floor. She was still a bit teary and her face was red and puffy. I caught a few looks of judgy-mc-judgyness thrown my way.

I looked at the closest judgy person square in the eye and gave her a look that I hope said ‘If it takes me letting my teething daughter sitting in the bottom of the trolley, playing with my wallet and money falling out the bottom, for her to be as happy as she can possibly be in this situation, that’s what I’m going to do.’

I hope she got the message.

Honestly, people pick the most irrelevant things to determine your worth as a parent: tantrums and sleep. I define my worth as a parent by play, tickles, cuddles, stories and sensitivity.

By the time we got home she’d completely forgotten about the bunnies. They’re both still sitting on the kitchen counter.

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Tagged as: discipline, tantrums, toddler

http://wanderlustlust.com Kristin

Ah, the mc-judgies of the world. The truth is they suffer worst from their own judgment. Must be terrible to be so wrapped up in smallness. Lucky you you’re not like that, and lucky for your daughter too!

http://goodgoog.com Zoey @ Good Goog

Agreed. Who has the time to put all that negative energy out there?

Francesca

Pre-Hugh I was probably a bit of a Mc-Judgie but now definitely not! Today my child was the one that threw multiple distress tantrums while we were at playgroup while others looked “shocked”. In the end I decided to leave a tiny bit early. When I put him down so that that I could put other stuff in the car before putting him in, he turned around and started running back to the community centre. That was a first! When we got home he ate an enormous (for him) lunch and then had an afternoon nap (which he doesn’t normally do anymore). Whoever said that hunger & tiredness were the biggest triggers for tantrums must have had Hugh in mind. After his nap he was back to my charming little man and tonight he told me for the first time that I was his friend and he was mine. Who wouldn’t love that? Good on you for loving your little girl too.

http://goodgoog.com Zoey @ Good Goog

I was the same – before Riley I was the judgey type. It doesn’t take long to realise that little people are just expressing themselves – they might be sick, tired, hungry or frustrated.

When we got home she had a nap for over 3 hours so I’m pretty sure that was playing in to the whole tantrum thing.

Firsts are so amazing – and you must have melted inside to hear him say that )

http://www.beafunmum.com Kelly Be A Fun Mum

I really had to giggle. Not that it would have been funny for you at the time but, yes, I know the feeling. It’s such a humiliating experience and sometimes you just need to do ANYTHING you have to so you can get to the car.
.-= Kelly Be A Fun Mum´s last blog ..Whose House? Paper Craft =-.

http://goodgoog.com Zoey @ Good Goog

I had a giggle about it when we got home too. I’m sure it is the first of many, many such incidents so probably best if I don’t take myself (or the tantrums) too seriously.

http://www.science-at-home.org Deb

I remember what I was like as a kid, and I don’t think my kids have anything on me! We’ve only had one full blown tantrum at the shop and luckily I was there with Mum so she could do the shopping while I dealt with it. What I find amazing is the number of parents who don’t do things like give their kids the purse to play with. The number of times I’ve seen kids in the line waiting and being told ‘No, no, no’ while mine are unpacking shopping, getting the money out and generally doing anything I can think of to keep them busy.

Co-incidentally I was reading this this morning and thinking we haven’t had a major tantrum yet from my little one who turned 2 on Thursday. And then we had a running, screaming, snot producing session.
.-= Deb´s last blog ..Predict, Observe, Explain – Sedimentation =-.

http://goodgoog.com Zoey @ Good Goog

Keeping them busy is key. I’ve found that even by getting her to name the fruits and vegetables as we go through helps too. They definitely go to a different level once they turn 2 ;o) Happy Birthday to your little one!

I guess it’s lucky that it hasn’t progressed to the level of having a tantrum when she sees something she wants – just if I put it in the trolley and won’t give it to her. Lesson learned.

http://keepingmumsane.wordpress.com keepingmumsane @ What I Don’t Say

Sounds like you handled it well and probably as I would. What else were you supposed to do? In serious how else would a mcjudgey want it handled. Leave the child screaming
until she Hurt herself or better off give her an Easter bunny. Really? My son also loves
to travel in the main part of the trolley. He helps out by arranging everything! I figure he’s better off there if it means a less stressful shop for me and I’m more likely to stay calm and responsive.
.-= keepingmumsane @ What I Don’t Say´s last blog ..A question of sleep and sanity =-.

http://goodgoog.com Zoey @ Good Goog

I got the impression it was definitely one of those times when onlookers where thinking ‘OMG look at that horrible parent and how she is incapable of controlling her child’. Now that I think about it, that’s quite a compliment. Because as far as I’m concerned, boundaries good – control bad.

http://livefirstwritelater.blogspot.com Marilyn at live first, write later

Zoey, my little boy turned two today and it is my favourite age, and at the same time so incredibly frustrating, exhausting, demanding. Today, by bedtime, he was in full meltdown mode over the tiniest things, and in the end I let him go to bed with his shoes on and teeth unbrushed, to make him happy, because that’s what he wanted. I didn’t want his birthday to end with screaming and tears!

I also avoid shopping with any of my kids at any cost. I’m not proud of this. Occasionally it gets really ridiculous, when we’re eating the same meal three nights in a row because I haven’t had a chance to go into Coles by myself!
.-= Marilyn at live first, write later´s last blog ..Working from home the easy way =-.

http://goodgoog.com Zoey @ Good Goog

Happy Birthday to your little boy!

I tend to take the same approach – if it makes her happy then why put up a fight. Riley didn’t want to have a shower last night. Normally she’s very excited at shower time but for whatever reason she wasn’t interested. I didn’t push it. She had two showers this morning (one with Josh and one with me) and then her usual shower tonight – so she made up for it!

I really think I would struggle to do grocery shopping with more than one. As it is, I take my eyes off her for one second and she’s trying to climb out of the trolley. I think online grocery shopping is in my future.

http://www.hearmumroar.com/ Hear Mum Roar

Good for you standing your ground with the looker-on. I think that is the most important part of dealing with public tantrums, is to not let other idiots intimidate you.
.-= Hear Mum Roar´s last blog ..Happy birthday, fairy girl! =-.
http://ceaselesspraises.blogspot.com Carrie

Oh, dear. Public tantrums are NO fun. My son used to do really well in public too, about until he was almost two.
.-= Carrie´s last blog .. =-.
http://ceaselesspraises.blogspot.com Carrie

Oh, dear. Public tantrums are NO fun. My son used to do really well in public too, about until he was almost two. Then he started to realize that you can BUY things at the store…and grab things off the shelves… oh, what fun. I totally use bribery to keep him focused on behaving – he always gets a treat at the end of a shopping trip, if he’s obeyed. A few months ago, on my first shopping trip with two kids, he decided it would be funny to scream at the top of his lungs (not crying screams, just ‘fun’ screams) all the way through the store. Yeah, pretty much everyone was staring at me for the entire time.

As far as the McJudgy’s (cute name, btw), let it go! Anybody who thinks it’s your fault that a toddler is throwing a tantrum (or judges anything you do to help them stay calm and quiet) has obviously never had or forgotten what it’s like to have a toddler. Tantrums happen. Before I had kids, I used to say things like, “OUR kids won’t act like that”. HA HA HA – how I laugh at my former self now.
.-= Carrie´s last blog .. =-.
http://www.unlikelymama.net Amber

I remember just loving being the main part of the cart when I was little. I liked being buried in the food or whatever my mother was shopping for. Alexa now likes being buried in her toys…guess she takes after me
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Traveling With The Babe =-.
http://www.bad-mummy.com Bec

We had that exact same tantrum – I can’t remember what it was over (probably nothing) though. The worst of it was, that tantrum, as mortifying as it was, wasn’t even the beginning of my public parenting humiliation.

I once had her screaming and kicking the whole length of the centre while I made a hasty retreat. Now of course we have the drop to the ground shouting “Don fack me mama!” tantrums which take humiliation to a whole other level. Of course she’s often so incoherent that only a few people can understand what she’s saying.
.-= Bec´s last blog ..Are you done having kids? =-.
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http://www.maidinaustralia.com Maid In Australia

Oh that’s not even a proper tantie and still you got the McJudgies? Miss 8 still tries to climb into the trolley when she is having an off day. I say whatever gets you the stuff you need (ie, essential groceries), through the check-out, and home without tears (from mummy) is a win! And the McJudgies can go and write a letter to the editor or something.
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