trying to conceive

False Alarm

False Alarm

This morning I thought I was pregnant. This afternoon I know I’m not thanks to the gift of a highly accurate pregnancy test. I didn’t even know what I was hoping for when I did the test. I really want to be not pregnant for New York. Somehow not being able to drink at all [...]

15 comments Just keep reading . . .

242/365 Sleep Deprivation

Thumbnail image for 242/365 Sleep Deprivation

I used to be able to just put the Squishy down at 6 every night and she’d be off without a protest until around 10:30. But lately she’s been hard to get to sleep, particularly at night. At first I try her in her bed. That usually doesn’t work and I lie down with her [...]

1 comment Just keep reading . . .

Children and Plans Don’t Mix

Children and Plans Don't Mix

I had a whole plan for the age gap between my first and second children. A brilliant plan that took into account our financial situation, when we would be ready, how old Riley would be and how long it would take us to get pregnant. The plan was for a 2 and a half year [...]

14 comments Just keep reading . . .

Discordance, Trying to Conceive and Me

Discordance, Trying to Conceive and Me

As the mother of two, I’m hardly the first person someone would think of when it comes to infertility. And I suppose I’m not, infertile. Although I was given the secondary infertility label at one time. And in terms of trying to conceive and the amount of time it can take, 8 months is not [...]

9 comments Just keep reading . . .

The Arch Nemesis

The Arch Nemesis

Yes, the pregnancy test is my arch nemesis. I don’t think it’s weird at all that I’m almost phobic about an inanimate object. For months, pregnancy tests have tortured me with cold, hard, horribly accurate negatives. I hate even the idea of taking one. Because as much as I hate not knowing, it still has [...]

62 comments Just keep reading . . .

Confusion, Denial and Cycle 8

Confusion, Denial and Cycle 8

I spot the day before my period at 1pm. That’s how it’s been for the last 6 months. It may be longer and it’s only recently that I’ve noticed. It’ hard to say. It’s how I know that a cycle is a bust. There have been other months where I’ve held out hope after the [...]

10 comments Just keep reading . . .

Cycle 8

Cycle 8

I lie there. Riley is next to me, in the big bed. I wait to see if she’ll go to sleep. She fights naps now, which probably means she’s ready to give them up, but I hold on to them still. I have my back to her. So she won’t see me crying. And I [...]

19 comments Just keep reading . . .

The Way Things Are

The Way Things Are

So I might have said something recently about not blogging about trying to conceive. And I might be going back on that already. A girl has the right to change her mind, right? I could rationalise that I’m still not blogging about the two week wait, just pregnancy in general. But really, that’s one of [...]

9 comments Just keep reading . . .

No More Blogging

No More Blogging

When I first started blogging about my trying to conceive journey it seemed like it would be helpful. Cathartic even. To be able to vent all my neurotic thoughts and have them out of my head. To have a place where I could rattle on about symptoms and blather on about the two week wait. [...]

17 comments Just keep reading . . .

The Hide and Seek of Trying to Conceive

The Hide and Seek of Trying to Conceive

It’s that time of month again. The dreaded two week wait. It’s getting very, very boring. I try not to think about symptoms, but it’s my body and there they are. Kind of tough to ignore. But there’s never anything definitive in the two week wait, so if I do get any symptoms, it still [...]

14 comments Just keep reading . . .