An Australian Fringe Dweller

Being an Australian blogger is interesting. It’s a smaller, more tight-knit community, which is lovely. It’s the sort of place where one of my most loved bloggers, Tiff, was the first person to comment on my blog, back when it was on a free site. We have a Sydney Bloggers Meet Up on Saturday and I am so excited to be going. If you’re anywhere near Sydney and want to come, do it! On the other hand, being on the other side of the world to our Northern Hemisphere friends, we are somewhat removed from blogging conferences, networking events and other forms of connecting with fellow bloggers. Oh, I’m jealous! I think my skin might have taken on a green hue.

So today, when I read this article in the New York Times Honey, Don’t Bother Mommy. I’m Too Busy Building My Brand, while as outraged as most other people who read it, I’m also somewhat removed from it as well. Because I’ve never been to a blogging conference. The title alone is pretty awful. The graphic that accompanied it, viewable on Mom101 (in her response to the article) is worse, depicting women ignoring their children in favour of phones and computers (and that’s putting it nicely).

Bloggers have responded in all their eloquence including Type A Mom on the bias against ‘mom-bloggers’ in the mainstream print media, Raising My Boychick on those who aren’t even acknowledged, even in a negative way and Jessica Gottlieb on her personal perspective.

What really gets to me about the article is how condescending it is. And personally, I believe that you can’t write about something with any resonance, while looking down your nose at it. It would be easy to say that the bulk of the condescension comes from the title – which at first glance does not really appear to be connected to the article. And even easier to say, the editor probably picked the title for the exact purpose of generating all this drama. But that’s just too easy. If the author didn’t agree with the title – well be creative and pitch something even better. And referring to the organiser as a sorority social chairwoman and a summer camp director in the same breath is pretty damn demeaning. Not to mention the ridicule leveled at mother’s for having the audacity to write, to participate in give-aways, engage with PR agencies or even (shock, horror!) actually expect to get paid for working. But I digress (I am so good at it).

None of this is that surprising. Disappointing, absolutely. But hardly shocking. But even I admit that some of the comments that this story received were shocking to me. Like this:

I think calling something ‘mommy ….’ demeans that thing. When something is labelled as ‘mommy’ whatever, not too many people take it seriously. Sorry if I get your defenses up, but that’s how it works in the real world. Mothering is very important, but ‘mommy’ is just not a serious term.I would suggest that we all get away from that word, and call it a ‘parenting blog’, because that is what it is, and it sounds more serious and inclusive.

That aside, I don’t really understand how blogging about being a mother is a career. Most people are not being paid for it. It takes away time from the job of parenting. It is not something that most people in the working world will consider as a serious entry on a resume, unless one is a nationwide name. It caters only to a small segment of the population–people who also write parenting blogs—, so it is a narrow experience. Honestly, taking the time spent writing a blog (that only a very small percent of people ever read) to instead develop a new skill that can be translated into the working world after the kids enter school would be a much better use of most bloggers’ time.

I’m speaking as a former SAHM. I breifly entertained the idea of writing a blog to share experiences, but quickly gave up the idea when I realized that continuing to maintain my prior working world skills and professional networking in the off time (when the kids were asleep) would be a better use of my time, and would secure a better financial future for my household.

So the only appropriate activity for women who look after their children full-time is paid work? Some of us have interests, or hobbies. I’ve been known to take the better part of a year to crochet a blanket that I could have bought for a whole lot cheaper than the cost of the wool and my time. But that’s not the point. I enjoy it.

And this:

Nature abhors a vacuum, so these people fill up their lives with each other- telling each other how special their everyday thoughts and actions – and kids – are.

And they are lonely at home with the kiddies? So rather than making actual flesh and blood friends and getting out of their cocoon they gravitate to an electronic network of others just like them.

There is something pathetic about the clingy, needy plea for attention and affirmation. God help the teachers when the offspring of these bloggers get to school.

Not content with this attack, the commenter has extended the criticism to our children. Wonderful.

And yet still, we haven’t hit rock bottom:

@ Mason78 (no. 42), “Children of mommy-bloggers don’t get that choice – their precious photos and (mis)behavior are paraded all over the internet as cute/demonic. Poor kids, I often think, and I also notice some dangerous behavior on moms’ part – why would you plaster cute photos of your child next to your hometown and full name, for all the kidnappers to see?”

Good point. Uploading photos of kids onto the internet, even *without* identifiying information, basically just provides pedosexuals with free images.

So awesome. Offering our children up for kidnapping and pedophiles. Actually, it is well documented that the likelihood of this happening is somewhat akin to being hit by an asteroid, twice

I have no idea where this vomited hatred comes from. What I do know? Communication is not pathetic. Connection is not desperate. Pursuing my interests is how I nurture my soul. And my blog is the easiest way to do that during naptime/at night. It uses all my favourite things. I get to write, I get to develop my photography, I get to discuss interesting issues, I get to tinker with web design, I get to dabble in social media and I get to all of this while being true to my parenting goals for our family. And should I have the opportunity to be paid for my creative writing in the future, I will take it. But I’ll be picking my own titles. Which is kind of the point of having a blog.

Tagged as: blogging, blogging, Writing